In the past few years, we have seen growing public support for allowing same-sex couples to marry.

This support has come from years of important public and private conversations about marriage for same-sex couples -- between friends, families, neighbors -- and in the media for all to hear. These conversations have helped move people away from being undecided about marriage equality and toward being supportive of marriage for all couples.

Conversations are key to sustaining and building support for the freedom to marry. Our movement’s current conversation about marriage has been informed by public education campaigns such as Why Marriage Matters, as well as work across the U.S. by national and state partners.

Two organizations that have long been involved in messaging research, Freedom to Marry and the Movement Advancement Project, have released their newest edition of An Ally’s Guide to Talking About Marriage for Same-Sex Couples, to help provide ways in which individuals and allies can engage in these crucial discussions.

An Ally’s Guide to Talking About Marriage for Same-Sex Couples is an incredibly useful resource for state-based movement organizations seeking to empower community members to engage in conversations about why marriage matters to all families.

In this guide, Freedom to Marry and the Movement Advancement Project recommend four essential approaches to use in conversations regarding the freedom to marry for same-sex couples, and they provide examples of how to engage in these approaches:

1. Focus on the Values of Marriage -- Focus on marriage as a sign of love and commitment to the person we love, not as something about “rights.”
2. Emphasize Why Caring People Don’t Deny Others the Chance of Happiness in Marriage -- When people reflect on their own hopes and dreams for marriage, it can help them realize they do not want to deny this happiness to same-sex couples.
3. Affirm Our Shared Values -- Most Americans share core values of freedom, treating others as we would want to be treated, and not judging others, which are important to discuss when talking about providing same-sex couples with basic freedoms.
4. Share Stories of the Journey to Support -- Sharing stories of those whose attitudes have changed over time can provide a steadying hand on the shoulder of those who are struggling to do the right thing.

An Ally’s Guide to Talking About Marriage for Same-Sex Couples pulls together the best insights and guidance we have for conversations that open people’s hearts and minds, bringing them from indecision to support of the freedom to marry for same-sex couples. We hope Federation members will use this tool to educate marriage supporters on how to have productive, eye-opening conversations in all the communities we call home.