This op-ed by the Federation's Anne Stanback was published in the Hartford Courant.

Five years ago this week, Connecticut became the second state to secure the freedom to marry for loving, committed same-sex couples.

A ruling in Kerrigan v. Commissioner of Public Health by the state Supreme Court on Oct. 10, 2008, said that same-sex couples could not be prevented from marrying.

It was a joyous day for the thousands of couples in our state who for years — sometimes decades — had longed to marry the loves of their lives.

It was also a joyous day for parents whose hearts had ached knowing their heterosexual children's relationships were honored and respected, while their gay children's relationships were not. It was a joyous day for gay youth who saw their opportunities for happiness and acceptance expand. And it was a joyous day for the countless allies who worked to end the denial of marriage to gay people because they wished to treat others as they would want to be treated.

Winning the freedom to marry in Connecticut was significant for reasons beyond how it impacted individuals here. Unlike in Hawaii, Vermont, Massachusetts and California, the Connecticut citizens accepted the change in the state marriage laws. Not everyone embraced it, but there was no backlash or serious attempt at repeal.

The Connecticut victory also marked a turning point in the view that civil unions were an adequate substitute for marriage. The court rejected the argument that civil unions, a legal designation passed by the General Assembly in 2005, were good enough. The court ruled that separate but equal was not equal at all. Civil unions were the original "skim milk marriages," to steal a line from U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, and were not constitutional.

Finally, the marriage win in Connecticut was significant because it broke a legal logjam. For nearly five years before the Connecticut court's ruling, Massachusetts was the only state where gay and lesbian couples could marry. Other states had tried to change that reality but failed. Winning Kerrigan made clear to the country what those of us in the trenches knew in our guts: Massachusetts was not an anomaly. Momentum was moving in the direction of fairness and inclusion.

Five years later the momentum has not just moved, it has raced. According to a 2008 Quinnipiac University poll, while a majority in Connecticut favored legalizing marriage for same-sex couples, only 36 percent of all Americans did. By last March, a Washington Post/ABC News poll showed support at a record high 58 percent with only 36 percent in opposition. Equally significant, other recent polls showed marriage equality to be supported by 62 percent of American Catholics, 64 percent of self-identifying Evangelical millenials, 53 percent of African Americans, 63 percent of Hispanics and a whopping 81 percent of voters under 30.

You might think that last statistic says it all, that demographics are destiny and nationwide marriage equality is inevitable. I have never doubted the outcome of this struggle, but neither have I ever imagined that we could sit back and wait for laws and policies to change themselves.

The stunning U.S. Supreme Court win in the Edith Windsor case this summer extended federal rights and ensured federal recognition of our Connecticut marriages, but there are still only 13 states we can travel to and receive that same respect. Until couples in Ohio, Pennsylvania, North Carolina and 34 other states have the same protections as Connecticut, our work is not done. And more broadly, our work will continue until every transgender person feels safe at work and every gay student feels safe in school.

Perhaps the lawsuit that will win the freedom to marry nationwide has already been filed. Until we return to the U.S. Supreme Court, however, our national strategy remains the same one we used in Connecticut. We must tell our stories of why marriage matters. We must explain how our families are harmed when we are excluded from marriage. And we must remind others that at the end of the day, it is love that makes a family.